Well...

I totally did not "shut up" like I said I would a few months ago. Too bad...

I am back in the South bay for 2.5 days. So far, I have not gone to the mall, nor have I tried Red Mango. I have, however, spent nearly $10 on froyo for myself at Tartini. I have no self control when it comes to self-serve desserts! Ack.

Mmmmm lychee tart yogurt....mmmmm canned lychee....mmmmm canned longan...mmmm QQ coconut jelly!!

I also attempted to swim in our newly remodeled and professionally-cleaned pool. Unfortunately, it was freezing cold. I stood in the water for a good twenty minutes bracing myself for human popsicle-ness. Then, the swimming filter thingy came up beside me and squirted water right in my face. I was outraged.

I cursed at it and decided that this was a sign to jump in. So I did, and even after 40 laps, I was still cold. My ears hurt from coldness...but I survived, and that is what's important.

Look Up - Stars

your friends hold the lullabies
they watch the way the night lies
soft sounds; heads like a radio
hearts wrapped in blankets laying low
hearts wrapped in blankets laying low
you're cold, maybe you just missed the sun
you fall, feeling like it's just begun
so far, keeping it together's been enough
look up, rain is falling, looks like love
your boy is like a memory
with some sense of touch and melody
your girl, she's a renegade
a hurricane that keeps you there, safe
hurricane that keeps you there, safe
you're cold, maybe you just missed the sun
you fall, feeling like it's just begun
so far, keeping it together's been enough
look up, rain is falling, looks like love

Update on Life

Well, I've finally managed to click my way to the top of my 27-friend Pyramid on the Brain Game. I'm prepared to lose my crown though...but I will persist.

This summer shall be spent doing research and *hopefully* volunteering somewhere...I have yet to make the call.

Life is going pretty good I think. There are certain things I still need to deal with. I'm seeing a counselor for the first time in my life, though I've been recommended twice before. Being a Psychology student now though, I don't see it as something to be ashamed of in the least. I actually find it kind of nice...partially because my SHIP insurance covers one semester completely.

While I don't really feel like I need to see her, it's kind of nice to know that there's that extra support. Friends, family, and significant others are of course, there for me too, but it's not really the same. What I tell them, and if I cry or whatever...it affects them in ways I don't want them to be affected.

Another development of mine as of late is that my toenail has fallen off. It doesn't hurt though...I wonder how it will look in flip-flops. So far, I've kept it hanging on there with my nifty bandages.

I also realized that I haven't been to a mall in ages. Gonna be about 2 months soon, it's crazy. Hopefully I've been spending a lot less money then; I'm kinda afraid it's all been spent on my current Froyo addiction. I probably have it five times a week. Gonna try Red Mango next week...AND go shopping! Hurray.

My mood goes up and down, but I'm going to try to be happyhappyhappy like the Chinese man tells us to be. After all, do I really have a good reason not to be? Haven't seen that guy lately though. I wonder what happened to Triangle man also? Berkeley's awesome characters are gone :(

Happy thoughts of the day: I'm so thankful for my health, for my loving family, for the wonderful people around me, for the opportunities I've gotten, for my research positions, for having enough money, and for my brain which is functional enough for me to achieve my goals (thus far).

So right now I have a love affair with Stars. Gonna post up their lyrics :)

From the mouth of my Stats Professor:

Student: If you go to a Bayesian and say you have a treatment and control group, "Does my treatment work?" What do they go off and do and tell you?

Professor: I will give you an analogy. The Bayesian would say you can milk a pig but nobody wants pig milk. But what you want is a cow, and I can give you a cow and you can milk it but then you would want to pretend it's a pig. So screw that and go with the cow. Don't test the hypothesis.

Food For Thought

Tiny, Flat-Chested, and Hairless

So Joanne linked me this article, in which a White woman describes her encounter with a White guy suffering from Yellow Fever. If you ask me, Courtney Weaver just might fall into the category of a Bitter White Woman.

Here is a list of stereotypes I've gathered from this article.

White men who like Asian woman are...
1. Pedophilic
2. Not worthy of the author anyway
3. Loners--Rejects of society
4. Nerdy looking, short
5. Socially awkward
6. Sissies
7. Repulsive

Asian women are...
1. Tiny
2. Flat-chested
3. Hairless
4. Docile little maids
5. Bossy housewives
6. Exotic
7. Sexually experienced animals in bed
8. Servile in bed
9. NOT tighter
10. If ABCs, want a strong Western man because Asian men are effeminate
(Koreans are the most beautiful BUT wear too much make-up)

That was fun. Thank you Courtney Weaver, for showing us how inferior we Asian women are to you, and how men who are attracted to Asian women are perverts. Thank you for putting us into a little box of Asian-ness. Gotta love how all of the stereotypes you've stuck in your readers' minds basically say that "Asian women suck." In more ways than one.

--
I'm actually more amused at Ms. Weaver, than angry or anything. Having taken all these ridiculous Asian American Studies courses has numbed my brain. It is understandable that she is bitter at Asian women. She, like many, many other people, has internalized images of Asian women that the media feeds her, and resents that society uses these images to pressure her and other White women to be servile and sexually abiding to men. Thus, she takes out her anger on Asian women (and our so-called physical attributes, no less!) and the men who like them. This certainly saves her ego.

But maybe, instead...she should try meeting some Asians, like Joanne said. Maybe she'd realize that we're actually human and NO WE'RE NOT ALL THE SAME. We are not necessarily super dominant, bitchy, animalistic Dragon Ladies, nor are we super submissive, servile China Dolls, Lotus Blossoms, or Geisha Girls. We're just people for God's sake. And yes, some of us do need to shave. And some are fat and have boobs, and some of these "Pedophilic White men" may still find us attractive OMG.

But I can find no words to defend Ted. He does seem like a loser, who likewise, has skewed ideas about Asian women. I would amend the author's words: "the kind of men who ONLY went for Asian women were not men I wanted to have anything to do with." Guys who ONLY go for women of a certain race (especially if they themselves aren't of that race) aren't good little fishies.

List of My Dreams

As instructed by my Dove Promise, in no particular order.

1. Get into Grad school for psychology

2. Get a well-paying job I enjoy.

3. Happiness

4. Health (Impossible, at a certain age)

5. Happiness and Health for those close to me. Well, since I'm dreaming, how about everyone?

6. Being in a happy, fulfilling marriage

7. Having happy, healthy, well-adjusted children (I will try my best not to screw them up)

8. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY